You see…

When you don’t listen.

When you don’t see the signs.

The signs get bigger.

I’ve always  been seen as the person that would go to college. Get a degree. Be a successful desk rider. Get married. Have 2.5 children and get a Golden Retriever named Buttacup. (LMFAOBN that shit sounds real nice now tho.)

It was just never meant for me to have theses things.

It was never meant for me to play tennis.

It was never meant for me to be with my son’s father.

It was never meant for me to be like everyone else.

To be perfect.

To look perfect.

(Smh)

I feel like I’m on the hero’s journey, all the steps. And yeah, sometimes I think I’m a workaholic that works 50hrs week and can still write a blog post; just to escape the now. Because I’ve forgiven and come to terms with my history. The now is sad when your abundant Ex can cry because he has a Two hundreds and fifty thousand dollar home with Bea’Quisha and her Four Bebe’s there. Meanwhile, I live in a one bed apartment. The shit is fucked up. Like really you abused me just to pick up that, but it’s ok. Because all a can do is smile. Because I know there is something a trillion times better then that. Then this.

Life and people become comical. You can see there role in the lesson you’re supposed to learn. You can play. Or repeat.

Sometimes…

I think …

What I lack in material and marital status; I make up for in spiritual abundance and mental strength.