I don’t have many friends. I don’t know why. I just don’t.  I’m not into the Fren fren thing, but I do have frenemies. I think everyone does to some degree. At first that shit would catch me of guard. — (Talking really fast) When AOL had chat rooms and girls would pretend to be someone else to ask questions about themselves  and then try and turn around and throw whatever was said in the other girls face. When in reality if you would’ve just asked me I would’ve said the same thing to your face–Confused Face.( But I digress.)— They tell you a bunch of shit and in return they want the same or they ask a lot of questions trying to find that little nugget of gossip to run and tell anyone foolish enough to listen. Why, because that’s what they like? Why? Because high school crept into there adult life and now this is all they have? Or is it because they watched to many episodes of Being Mary Jane and had the audacity to live there lives like women that committed suicide? (I don’t know her name and I’m not researching it and just the gossip part of her). But what I do know is that. I’m not afraid to get a bit personal. I’m not afraid to be imperfect. I’m not afraid to say I don’t give a fuck what you think or say. The frenemy cares too much. The frenemy doesn’t usually show up in my personal life, but recently  I’ve had some high frenemy activity (dramatic investigator voice as camera zooms in puts pipe in mouth squints one eye and closes shutter).  I’ve also had it in my work place too, but I don’t care. If you know me I’m not much of  a drama filled person, but Gawd damn I’ve had a piece of drama lately. So lets beginning.

I live in the Roll Tide Capital.  I’ve resided here for over 2 years now and the place is growing on me very. very.. very…very slowly.  I actually left New York and found out on the way here that I was going to be living with my aunt. So I’ve been here for a while and I was at work one day and I get served to appear in court. Mind you no one knows exactly where I work or live. So you had to do some hunting ($$$$) in order to find me.  I get severed and I appear in court and my lawyer just had back surgery (Bless her heart ) . She’s a tiny women with ice blue eyes. We’re at the courthouse and in my head I’m like, “Shit this abusive mutha fucka is tryin to take my son. Bitch!” However when I went to drop him off he was agreeing with everything I said and smiling and even tried to invite me to sit down and eat with them.”Eww ..NO!?” Then we started talking on the phone. He called me like now and again. Say hi. But then we started conversing about the wife and how he wanted a divorce. I was saying to myself, “Ok?” Then he started offering to pay my bills and move me to Orlando so that he could be closer to our son. Blah blah blah. It was sounding great almost had me sold. Sometimes he would say I love you or I miss you and I was still like “ok?”(shrugs shoulders). But it all came to a head when he called me on Wednesday morning saying that he had been arrested  and that I needed to come to Orlando and pick up our son. Now I’m pissed all the way off.  I asked him several times, “Why were you arrested?” I was always met with some general non-answer. “I don’t know…. I don’t know Era. Mi just can’t deal wit the whole ting.”–He’s Jamacian.–  I told him “No!!!” I had to be at work. My son was in no danger. I told him I would be there the next day after I got off work.  That night his wife calls me. She says, “M is no good. He’s crazy. M has done this to me. M has done that to me.  M says you are in cahoots with his mother.” She did most of the talking.  And as a women I felt bad for her because the man put me through hell and it just kept on getting worse. He is so self-serving, so self- absorbed, a  con artist, misleading, fabricator. You get it.  He’s a liar. And I believed what she said not knowing that she’s one too. (Country voice) I work 10 hr. shifts, so at 3am I touched the road and made my way to Florida I got there at 12pm. I went to his friends house got my son and that’s all I got. None of the stuff I sent with him has came back yet. Plus, the clothes that he did have on had blood stains on them because my son had an abscess under his arm. This is why I didn’t send him with much because I thought something like this would happen, but never thought it would get so far fetched. So his friend was like. “Are you going to take a nap at your Moms house?” and I was like, “Yeah.” In my head I was like, “Hell no I rather sleep in my car.” My son and I said goodbye we stopped by Sunshine Bakery got we some patty. I drove past my Grandmother’s house and we were back on the road. I thought Orlando was home. I thought I would feel at home in the place that I once called home, but it felt so different. I didn’t even recognize the place anymore and it certainly did feel like home.

I was on the turnpike now and I was getting tired, so we pulled over at a rest stop. My son played on my phone while I got a little shut eye. Then the phone rings it was  a collect call from the jail.(One guess) I answered and it was M. He thought that I was going to stay in Orlando. He thought that I was going to give up everything for him. He thought that just because he told me that he loved me and would helped me out here and there, that I would be foolish enough to end my life for him. It was frustrating. It is frustrating. I asked him, “Aren’t you tired of this? Aren’t you tired of going to jail? Aren’t you tired of spending money on lawyers? This is disgusting.” Of course he was answering but his voice does this weird thing when he’s lying, so I didn’t believe a word he was saying. All of this for what?  To prove what? I know what it is. It’s fear. For a long time this man was a frenemy to me because he didn’t want ” a good life”. He wanted it to appear as if we had a good life and I convinced myself that it would get better. I bought into the lies for years (10 years plus) and now Karma has him. Do I rejoice in that? No. I really feel bad for him. Not too bad, but enough to thank the higher power for all that I have learned and for what I have. I learned to look at all my difficulties as a chance to learn. To grow.

Frenemies are only focused on negativity and driven by gossip. That’s fine for them but I think its irrelevant. And if you care about me so much come live in these size nines and then fall back. So frenemy  when I see you and trust me I know it’s you. I say welcome into my world. Thanks to Keke “The gag is I only tell you things because I know your going to run and tell anyone that’ll listen cuz that’s what I want you to do.”- Sips her wine.