When I was a child I would watch movies. The fairy tale movies. The ones that make you think you need someone to save you. For a very long time I bought into it. I too thought I needed someone, a husband. But I’ve learned some real life had lessons:
1) You can’t change anyone.
I learned this the hard way. I stayed with my son’s father for 10 years, foolishly trying to convince myself that he would change, but he never did.
2) What makes you happy?
I had to ask myself….Bihh, what makes you happy? What makes you feel good? Now do that shit. I tried making people happy to make myself feel good. It didn’t last long nor did it work very often. Things earned last longer than things given.
3) Save yourself.
No one is coming to save you. I thought I was going to be saved. I prayed to be saved no one came, so I saved my money. It’s scary making big decisions. Life changing ones. You have a lot of fear, dought. You cry because you want someone to make the decision for you, but you gotta make it yourself. I know now fear isn’t real. Pain is real. Death is real. The only one that can save me is me.
Now, I want you to save yourself.