Jo and X pills

Faded

Faded

Faded

Everything gold plated

 I tried to show you the way

but you just became more jaded.

 

 

START

 

 

I’ll tell you about a guy

that lies to himself

He’ll tell himself first

and then tell everybody else.

He doesn’t want to know his truth

Because he would know himself too

and learning yourself can be a hard thing to do

He’s hurting inside

because he doesn’t see that he’s the youths.

He’ll show you what he shows everybody else

and tell you later that’s not his real self.

I’ll tell you about a guy that hates himself

But will put on a mask to show love to everybody else.

I’ll tell you about a guy that doesn’t know his wealth.

He’ll go out of his way to please everybody else.

I’ll tell you about a guy that’s afraid of himself

He’ll say it was the Devil and blame everybody else

This guy is crumbling inside he’ll drag you into hell to feel confident inside

and tell you that he’ll never leave your side.

I’ll tell you about this guy that stands alone

Surrounded by his demons because he doesn’t know

which way to go. He doesn’t know how to fix it.

Because he doesn’t want to stop.

He thinks its a personality switch that’ll take him to the top.

He’ll tell you what he thinks you want to hear

But I don’t believe that.

Your the beauty and he’s the beast

But you just reflect each other differently

And the only difference is that my makeup comes from #FentyBeauty

Because I’m the only one that can make me happy.

STORY DONE

 

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What’s Real

Time for the inner work.

When I was much younger, I told two of my cousins that I never wanted to get married. My cousin said that I shouldn’t say that because it may come true. I did think anything of it at the time, but now I’m about to turn 32 and I’ve never been married. I know what your thinking it has to be me. Maybe it is…. I think its my failure to feel fully accepted… I mean having someone were the exchange of meaningful conversation is not one sided. I just feel like I can’t connect.

Well have you been dating?

Yes, I have.

What kinds?

Tall. Short. Rich. Poor. Beautiful. Ugly. But none of them were able to love me the way I wanted to be loved… Wrapped up in the façade and stereotype of what’s physical.

It’s sad being lonely. It would be even sadder if I chose the wrong person. Yeah, I might be perfect for you, but are you for me? We can’t travel if you don’t fly. I can’t marry you if you’re already married. You can’t propose to me if I’ve never met your family or been to your place. I can’t mend broken hearts or build back trust because she did you wrong.  I can give you everything, but what will be left for me? I will not make myself less so you can feel better than me; and don’t feel less because my beauty and intelligence is intimidating.

I’m as real as the air you breath. Don’t confuse me with the things you see on TV.

I’m real. I bleed.

I’m real. I can see.

I’m real.

You know….If you really know me.

So, I’m not married and its ok. Hopefully the right one will be on his way. I don’t know why everything I type sounds like a rhyme today.